The Day I Lost My Religion

22nd January 2007

posted in Life in General |

WARNING: BIG HUGE VENT AHEAD!

Let me tell you guys about what’s been happening around Chez G. We decided to baptize Gian in the Catholic church. As some of you may know, I’m not big on religion. I was baptized Catholic and so was Tano and all of our kids so we decided to go with the flow and do the same with Gian. But now, as I’m older, the title of Godparent is not given to just anyone. To me, it means waaaaaay more than just what the Catholic church says, which is that Godparents are supposed to bring the kid to the Church when the parent can’t go. To me, you’re to be there if my child needs you and/or needs advice or what not. You know, like a sub-parent almost. So I chose two very good friends of ours, Inger and Moises.

Last week we went to the baptism class. The priest seemed to be a big charlatan let me tell you. He cracked all sorts of inappropriate jokes (like saying that most families after the baptism would go home, start partying and dance bachata) and he even told this one girl that was translating for her father to shut up. That they needed to respect and blah blah. He said many other things that I disagreed with but I won’t get into anymore or this post will have to be broken down into a mini-series. But at the end, he gave instructions for the baptism:

1 - Be there by 1:30 pm. We were not to arrive late or he wouldn’t perform the baptism on your child. He closes the doors at 2 pm and will not let anyone in.
2 - Fill out the card with the child’s name for the recordbook.
3 - Do not put the card inside the same envelope that was given to you to put your “$500 donation” in. That is separate.
4 - He says he was “just joking” about the $500 but that the Church “requires a $25 DONATION for the baptism”. (This sounds like a FEE to me, not a donation.)
5 - If you get rowdy in the church he will throw you out. If you continue to get rowdy outside he will just call the cops.
6 - Dress well and dress your child well.

I can understand #1 and #2 but the rest??? What the hell are those about???

Well, the day of the baptism comes and I was pissed off because I had to cook and bring the food to the Godfather’s house, Moises. He was also baptising his son so we were going to have one big dinner. But see, I didn’t want to cook from the beginning. I wanted to go to a restaurant, all chip in and call it a day. So that day I ended up having to cook and here I am huffing and puffing all around the kitchen and I started telling Tano, “I don’t want to go.” and he’s saying “let’s just do it and get it over with”. We were having a horrible day!! HORRIBLE. So we ended up leaving the house a little later than we originally planned. We got stuck in traffic. My friend, Dilenia, calls me when it’s close to two and asks where we are. I told her we were stuck and that I had told Moises that if anything, to just go ahead and we’d reschedule. We hung up but then I sent her a text message and asked her to let me know what the priest said because we had “issues with him as it is”. She text back that the priest was waiting for 2 other families besides us.

We got there at about 2:04 and walked inside and sat in the rear. He had apparently just started. He was reading from the Bible and as he’s reading says “And that family that just came in the back is very lucky they didn’t find the doors closed. VERY LUCKY INDEED.” We were BEYOND shocked.

He then started walking up the aisle and putting oil in the form of a cross on the forehead of each child getting baptized. He got to us, turned around and kept on going down the other side. He never touched my son. So, we’re thinking he’s not going to do the baptism. Which was fine. We could’ve left it at that. But next thing I know, a lady that was assisting him came behind us, asked us which child was getting baptized, we pointed (the priest already knew because Gian was dressed in ALL WHITE and the others were not and were all the way down the pew anyway while Gian was sitting on his Dad’s lap at the end of the aisle where the priest was walking.) She told us she’d speak to the priest to see if he was still going to do it. I told her and if he doesn’t, that’s fine too. She asked if he put the oil and I said no and she said, oh…i’ll ask….do you have the envelope??

I looked at her like she was from another planet but told her, yes, the godfather does.

So we’re sitting there listening to everything and then the priest goes to the fountain and starts doing that part of the ceremony. The lady was going up the aisle sending each family along. She gets to us and says to go and I say to her but is he going to do it. She said, yes, that she’d spoken to him and that he said yes. So we went. He did that part of the ceremony very rudely like and once he poured the water on gian’s head HE STUCK OUT HIS HAND AND ASKED FOR THE ENVELOPE.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

The Godfather hands him the envelope. At this point we are ALL soooo pissed but we still go and sit down.

But wait….there’s more.

We’re sitting there and he’s reading and preaching and then starts walking up the aisle again and as he’s coming he’s going to each child and putting a cross on their forehead again with his thumb and saying I bless you in the name of….etc. When he gets to Gian, he does the cross…..on his forehead…..

AND SAYS NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT A FUCKING WORD. NADA. ZIP ZILCH. NOTHING.

WHAT THE FUCK DID MY SON EVER DO TO THIS BASTARD!!! I WAS SO FUCKING PISSED!!

Because he turned around and continued to the other side blessing each child. But Gian, my 6-month-old son did not, what?? DESERVE his blessing???

Well, you know what happens next right? I start putting on his coat. The priest comes back in a circle and is doing another blessing to the kids but this time, he didn’t even come near us, he just kept right on past us.

I was FUMINGLY PISSED OFF. I can’t even tell you the rage that I felt at that moment. But I collected all of us together, held my head up high, and walked us out of that church.

And that’s how I’m not a Catholic anymore.

Sunday morning, I ordered two books: a bible in contemporary english (Basic english) and The World’s Religions. I would like to read about all the stories in the bible, learn to understand them, and also explore all the different religions out there.

Then I spoke to Moises’ wife who explained to me that THAT MAN WAS NOT A PRIEST. He was the deacon and apparently deacons are allowed to perform baptisms.

So this morning I called the church and asked to speak to the real pastor and told him what happened. He says he’s new there and that he sorta inherited this deacon along w/the post but that he was making MANY changes and was very glad that I called.

I requested a meeting w/the deacon and pastor because I want this “messenger of God” or whatever he is to explain to me WHY HE DID NOT BLESS MY SON. Even tho, my son does not need the blessing of this idiot, what he did was rude, and totally uncalled for!!!

We never did anything to this man and neither did Gian. I want an explanation and it better be a good one.

PS: If anyone is offended by the verbage I use in this post because you are a Catholic, know that I only started cursing the man once I realized he wasn’t a real priest. As much as I have a dirty mouth and I wanted to flare off and curse when I was venting once we got outside, I respected what I thought was his position and I did not. But, he’s not a priest. He’s an idiotic stupid person but not a priest.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 22nd, 2007 at 12:14 pm and is filed under Life in General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On January 22nd, 2007, Jeanine said:

That’s terrible! Nobody deserves that type of treatment. At least you called the church to speak with the real pastor. I hope you get some satisfaction when you meet.

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 12:22 pm

2 On January 22nd, 2007, Dilenia said:

Yes, it was terrible!!! And the service he gave wasn’t EVEN good, he didn’t know how to preach at all!!

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 12:53 pm

3 On January 22nd, 2007, Karen said:

OMG is all I have to say.

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 1:23 pm

4 On January 22nd, 2007, mc78 said:

Sounds like a typical power control freaky type that covertly tries to take over the church and makes everyone miserable in the process.

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 1:45 pm

5 On January 22nd, 2007, Lola LB said:

It definitely sounds like a power-hungry person. Don’t put all the blame on religion because of an idiot who messes things up. You may also want to file a complaint with the bishop about the deacon, just so that it goes up higher on the food chain.

I’m an Orthodox Christian, and baptisms are almost never performed by the deacon - the deacon simply assists the priest at baptism ceremonies. If I got this kind of treatment, I would complain to the bishop, and go to another parish to have the baptism done. Fortunately, I have a good priest.

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 1:49 pm

6 On January 22nd, 2007, Iraida said:

You’re a bigger person than me because I would’ve probably said something to him after the service. How freakin’ rude. And to hold out his hand for the envelope? That’s just plain crazy. To not bless the bebe was even worse. WTH does he think he is the pope?

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 2:15 pm

7 On January 22nd, 2007, Wanda said:

I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. That’s really outrageous. I’m glad tto find out that this person was really not a priest, because I really shocked by it, as I’m sure you guys were when it happened and afterwards. And if he had beef with the parents is one thing, but why treat a baby like that. I’m glad that you called the office and spoke with the priest. You definitely want to file a complaint too. He’s insane.

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 2:30 pm

8 On January 22nd, 2007, Alyson said:

Ooooooooh. I would have been FIRED. UP.

You handled it better than I would have.

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 4:51 pm

9 On January 22nd, 2007, Chante said:

I’d be pissed too. I’m sorrry you and your family had to go through that. There is no reason for someone to take out their frustrations on a child, there’s just no excuse.

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 7:35 pm

10 On January 22nd, 2007, Deacon Jim said:

One of a deacon’s unique ministries is that of baptism, bringing people into the Church. What this person did was to use his ministry to drive people out.

The other unique ministry of deacons is that of service. A deacon is not a presider (i.e., priest, presbyter) but a minister of service.

To be a minister of service requires that you ‘live’ where people live and that you do so with empathy and charity.

Jesus told us that His Father made laws for man, not man for laws. I think this deacon has that one confused at best. Then again, that was my R.C. experience and the reason I left and joined the PNCC.

I won’t pretend I speak for all deacons, but at least for my part I’m so sorry this happened to you, your family, and friends.

BTW, we’ve never started a baptism on time - having married clergy with children in the PNCC provides for a lot of empathy on the part of the priests, deacons, and bishops.

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 7:45 pm

11 On January 22nd, 2007, Zonda said:

I am so sorry that you your family had to go through this! It was unspeakable!! All the concern for the $$ and he didn’t even do it! Glad he’s not a priest, but that makes no difference, he represented the church and that wasn’t how it is supposed to be! Good for you to file the complaint. What should have been a happy day for you all, turned out rotten!!

posted on January 22nd, 2007 at 8:14 pm

12 On January 23rd, 2007, Kelly said:

I am a Catholic, but I’m not offended by anything you said, Rosi. I’m offended at the actions of a mere mortal man who claims to act in the name of the God he’s representing. And I’m pissed off on your behalf. I’m glad you filed a formal complaint. I agree with Lola — follow up with a complaint to the diocese. This SOB shouldn’t be anywhere near the sacraments. And they wonder why people get turned off of the church. Sheesh.

Gian has a good momma and daddy looking out for him on this earth, and that’s all you really need to worry about.

posted on January 23rd, 2007 at 8:52 am

13 On January 23rd, 2007, Ceallach said:

How rude…..I think that deacon has some mortal sins going there….like Pride!

I think that the church will help you get a real baptism.

posted on January 23rd, 2007 at 3:50 pm

14 On January 23rd, 2007, Tawana said:

OMG!!! That man was just so rude. I am so glad that the priest was willing to listen to you and you concerns and feelings over how you were treated. It is things like that, that will drive somebody away from religion.

posted on January 23rd, 2007 at 8:48 pm

15 On January 24th, 2007, margo said:

I am also completely shocked. What a bitter, unhappy man he must be. Tough for him. What a smoking bunghole. Unbelievable.

posted on January 24th, 2007 at 3:38 am

16 On January 24th, 2007, Batty said:

Well, you can always join us in the Episcopal church! Our priest is a woman who has more grandchildren than you can shake a stick at. And for Easter, she likes to blow up peeps in the microwave! : )

Seriously, though, that priest’s behavior is deplorable. What an asshole! I’m not sure God is happy with the way he’s behaving either. But it’s not my place to judge that. I can, however, say for myself that he should be sorry for all the horribly rude things he said. Ugh! Kudos for not slapping him upside the head!

posted on January 24th, 2007 at 8:56 am

17 On January 24th, 2007, turtlegirl76 said:

I cannot BELIEVE that he had the gall to treat you like that in a holy church. It’s a BABY! You don’t treat a baby any different than the next out of spite for the parents showing up late! I grew up Catholic and boy do I ever understand that there are certain levels of politics to be played out within the church but at a baptism? I’da left too. But first I’da marched up to the deacon and said “DO YOU HAVE THE ENVELOPE?!” and snatched that sucker back.

posted on January 24th, 2007 at 12:08 pm

18 On January 25th, 2007, Sherrin said:

Wow, I’m so sorry that your baby had to go throught that. Some people just get crazy when they believe they have the upper hand over you. But don’t despair, God knows what is in your heart and he will deal with that MAN.

posted on January 25th, 2007 at 11:51 am

19 On January 25th, 2007, Kitty said:

oh Rosi… I’m so sorry to hear that, lil Gian didn’t do anything to deserve that. Hope your meeting with those idiots will smooth things out for you and Tano.

Hugs,
Kitty

posted on January 25th, 2007 at 10:53 pm

20 On January 28th, 2007, memeeflye said:

sorry this happened. hope me tagging you will lively you up! go to my blog lady & read the rules

posted on January 28th, 2007 at 1:43 pm

21 On January 31st, 2007, Carmell said:

gurl you better than me. i would have left from jump and i would not have left withPreist (decon) know how i felt.
we don’t do baptisms. we decate our children to God. being baptised is a choice that a person makes when they fully understand the reason behind doing so. a baby can’t make that type of decsion. but thats not how Catholics do it so… just IMO!
i hope you find what you are looking for.

posted on January 31st, 2007 at 12:53 pm