Pet Diaries

6th April 2008

posted in Kitteh Kat |

DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.

However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.

I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.

I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’

I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.

I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.

He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 6th, 2008 at 9:00 am and is filed under Kitteh Kat. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On April 6th, 2008, Swapna said:

How fun! And the kitty looks so innocently beautiful, too! Perhaps that’s why (s)he’s confined so carefully?

posted on April 6th, 2008 at 9:32 am

2 On April 6th, 2008, Stacey_CrimsonPurl said:

ROTFL!!!!
Puuuhlease tell me the mouse thing really didn’t happen!

posted on April 6th, 2008 at 1:33 pm

3 On April 6th, 2008, Alice said:

Hilarious! You are spot on with your portrayal of both cats and dogs… it’s amazing how different they are, eh?

posted on April 6th, 2008 at 8:53 pm

4 On April 8th, 2008, Marlena said:

Best post ever! I’m not even a cat person and I was rolling!

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 4:21 pm

5 On April 8th, 2008, Batty said:

Funniest post ever! I read it aloud to Mr. Batty and we both laughed a lot.

While Morgana pulled my Dad’s sweater out of my knitting bag and tried to make off with it. I think our cats are conspiring against us…

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 9:45 pm

6 On April 12th, 2008, shawn said:

This is by far the funniest thing I’ve ever read in a blog. I have a cat, Bubba, and I swear my husband and I sit and amuse ourselves by talking “for” Bubba the same way you wrote about your cat. Great job, can’t wait to read the next blog.

posted on April 12th, 2008 at 12:43 pm

7 On April 14th, 2008, carmell said: