Category Archives: Kitteh Kat

Cat Diaries

The humans, they have gone mad.  They leave the domicile for hours at a time.  They return laden with many bags.  The larger humans wait until their spawns have gone to sleep.  Then they bring out giant rolls of colored paper of some sort and begin to wrap this paper around oddly shaped and numerous boxes.

Krismas Kitty (1)

They’ve put up a fake tree in the main living area of the domicile.  They have hung large baubles on the tree to disguise the smell of plastic.  They think they are fooling me into believing I am home in the wild, where I truly belong.  It is not working.  I, Small Tiger, can detect the imposter tree without much effort.

I have decided to play along with their games.  I have created a cave from the covered boxes.  The humans look for me while I watch them from my vantage point.  They will never find me here.  MUAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Krismas Kitty (3)

Pet Diaries

DOG DIARY
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.

However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.

I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.

I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’

I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.

I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.

He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Ms. Diva