Funny Story: The Wrong Model

Conversation between me and a woman at my knitting group:

her: what’s that pattern that norma is knitting?

me: oh, that’s my pattern, Volare.

her: it’s nice.

me (shows her the paper pattern):  yea, it’s pretty simple.  i’m sure you can follow it even though you’re a beginner.


her (after looking at the pic above):  oh, but i would want it bigger.  i think they used the wrong model for this shawl.  it fits her too small.

me: (too stunned to speak)

her: she’s too chunky.

me (now with mouth hanging open): um, that’s ME.

her: maybe if she was smaller….

me: um, do you recognize the person in that picture?

her: no.


me (flips some pages and finds the picture above): how about her?

her: no, do you know her? is that you?

me: yes.  it’s MY PATTERN.

her (screwing up her face): yea, it’s the wrong model.  they should’ve used someone smaller.

30 thoughts on “Funny Story: The Wrong Model”

  1. HA HA HA

    her: no, do you know her? is that you?

    me: yes. its MY PATTERN.

    her (screwing up her face): yea, its the wrong model. they shouldve used someone smaller.

  2. hey lookee that! I’m the spam word. 🙂

    How freakin’ rude of the woman. It’s a shame that such clueless people can’t just be sent away somewhere. Like Greenland or something.

  3. WTF?!?! Bitch. She’s jealous of your hair, hotness, knitting, designing, and all-around flyness. Also, I want to be there when she bolts up in bed at 3 am tonight and goes, “oh my god, it was HER!!!!!”

  4. What an asshole. She had to recognize you, which makes her a asshole and a jerk. And also a hater.

    Is that pattern really easy? I love it, but so far I’ve only been able to follow feather and fan lace for a shawl.

  5. Between this and Yarn Harlot’s blog post about the woman on the subway who INSISTED that YH was crocheting the sock ….

    People. Geez, why can’t we vote people off the island for real?

  6. Oooooooh! She is lucky that my needles dont have a mind of their own, otherwise they would of stabbed her ass right in her eye and I would of said they think she’s the right model…LOL

  7. I hope you didn’t give her your pattern. She’s just jealous that she couldn’t possible look as good in the shawl. The shawl fits you fine. Tell her to “F” off.

  8. Buh-LIND!!! They were kidding, right? The shawl is beautiful, and you’re published. So… I agree with Le-Teisha. Tell her to eff off. Geez.

  9. Hi, just discovered your blog (trough Ravelry), and hope for you that your knittinggroup is big! So you can choose to sit next to someone else next time! What a strange woman!

    Its a great pattern with perfect beautifull pictures!
    groeten uit Rotterdam, The Netherlands

  10. Blind and clueless and rude? That woman is a rare find. You look lovely, and the shawl is beautiful too. I just hope there are enough people in your knitting group that you don’t have to talk to the brainless wonder!

  11. I don’t usually care for the triangle shaped shawls, but I love yours! Where was it published? And for what it’s worth, that person is really, really not that bright and doesn’t listen well. A viscious circle of ignorance. (I linked here from Batty’s blog.)

  12. You are hot!! She is NOT!! You are cute. She is NOT!! You can knit a bomb-ass shawl in 2.5 seconds. She can NOT!!

    Your picture looks gorgeous, and I want one!!! Tell me the truth, she was ugly wasn’t she?? She was drinking some ice cold hater-ade. She had glaucoma. Something was off about that chick! Tell her there will be no more hater-ade served at the next knitting meeting.

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